Alright, enough circus. IT’S DIIIIIIIIINOSAUR TIME!
…wait, what’s that? What do you mean we have to go through an ancient lost continent first?
Fine.
IT’S LOST CONTINENT TIME!
WARNING: VERY IMAGE HEAVY POST AHEAD
Welcome to the “totally not Atlantis or anything” section of the Islands, aka the “Lost Continent”. This area is a bit peculiar compared to the other sections as it’s not based on any kind of character, book, cartoon, movie, franchise, etc etc. It’s just…mythical. Mystical. Magical. Majestic. Don’t believe me? Just check this out:
If a giant vomiting god head isn’t majestic, I sure as hell don’t know what is.
Unfortunately aside from some really sweet architecture there isn’t much to do in this area. There’s a show called Poseidon’s Adventure but it was closed the last two times I visited. Not sure if it’s permanently shut down or if I just showed up while they were having technical difficulties. A major reason why there’s so little here is because part of the Lost Continent no longer exists.
You can still find bits and pieces of the lost section. Can you figure out what it was by looking at this picture?
….
……..
………..That’s right, it was a medieval section! Complete with knights and dragons and maybe a princess or two.
The Lost Continent used to be split into three major sections: Totally Not Atlantis or Anything, Sinbad, and Ye Olde Medieval Fantasy. The medieval section was shut down and replaced with the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. The problem is that the area’s only two rides were in the medieval section. Flying Unicorn, a small rollercoaster for children, still exists as “Flight of the Hippogriff” in the Wizarding World. Likewise, the larger rollercoaster was renamed from “Dueling Dragons” to “Dragon Challenge” to make it more…Harry Potterish? *shrugs*
So the drawback to shutting down a chunk of the island is that it’s left with…well..barely anything. There are a couple of shops and (supposedly) the greatest theme park restaurant in the country. But who goes to a theme park to eat and shop? It’s all about them rides, yo.
Cool trash cans, though.
Here’s the Sinbad section. There’s not much to say about it. It’s got shops. Lots and lots of shops.
Big shops, little shops, fast shops, sloooooooooooow shops, even shops that blow through snow.
Oh, well there IS this Sinbad show that plays a couple of times a day but it’s incredibly cheesy. You’ll probably love it if you’re a kid or just really into silly adventures with lots of hammy acting.
The Sinbad area is kind enough to continue the vomiting theme.
As well as the cool trash can theme.
Well, enough of that. Let’s look at some dinosaurs. Listen to this. It’ll help set the mood.
Alright, song playing? Good. Have a dinosaur.
If this was a figure I had to review I’d praise the paint job but take off some points for the dorky looking face sculpt. And WHAT is with that horrible seamline on the neck? This statue probably cost several thousand dollars to make. I hope Universal gets their money back.
Now THAT is a quality dinosaur. Just look at the detail! The paint!
This is top quality stuff, folks.
The only thing I don’t get about this skeleton is that it’s in the center of a food court. Perhaps it’s there to remind people to eat so they don’t starve to death? *shrugs*
Compared to the previous area, Jurassic Park is much more exciting. There aren’t as many cool looking buildings but instead you get a shitload of cool looking dinosaurs.
There are even cool looking cars! I can’t help but wonder if it actually works…
Plenty to see and do in Jurassic Park, unlike the previous area we just saw. Want rides? You got them. How about shops? Plenty of those, and each is full of ridiculous looking dinosaur merchandise. Restaurants? Absolutely everywhere and full of MEAT. Anyone that’s gone to Disney World or Disney Land know of their infamous giant “smoked turkey legs”.
Well, it turns out the Islands have them too. And you can get your very own sodium-loaded hunk of mystery meat at Jurassic Park. For extra fun let’s pretend you’re actually eating a smoked dinosaur leg.
Also those turkey legs are no joke. They’re very big, very salty, and very difficult to finish. Good luck if you get one.
The shops in Jurassic Park are a little weird…they consist half of JP related merchandise, and half bizarre souvenirs that you can find at any museum or science store. It’s a little disappointing. 
Come at the right time and perhaps you’ll catch a glimpse at the rare miniature furred oh who am I kidding, that is a cat.
There are two rides to be found here. Not pictured is a flying ride with pterodactyls. Or was it pteranodons? Eh, either way you fly. This ride does have a weight limitation, so if you’re larger than a pre-teen odds are you won’t be able to get on.
The second ride, River Adventure, is exactly what it says on the tin. It’s an adventure. On a river. In a boat. With dinosaurs. It’s very calm (at first) but you’d be a fool to relax. Just trust me on that.
Tired of being out in the blazing hot sun? Head to the Discovery Center for some refreshing air conditioning.
Oh, and there are educational exhibits in there. But who cares about that?
Within the Discovery Center is a mini muse-um…I mean, SCIENCE LAB with various exhibits you can interact with. The neatest one is by far the incubator. Show up at the right time and you can even see one of the eggs hatch! Like any good laboratory there are men and women in white coats prancing about. There are also biohazard signs plastered on the walls.
If learning about various dinosaur types and egg incubation bores your children to tears then perhaps they’d like a fun round of DINO TRIVIA. This room features some pretty cool lights and an extremely overexcited narrator asking participants various questions about ancient critters. How delightful! You can compete against other people, though there’s no prize for winning aside from bragging right.
Can’t say all the dinosaurs look great…but you gotta give ‘em points for trying. Shame that they shut down the display with the animatronic triceratops. I’m sure there are plenty of kids out there who’d love to see a dino get a physical and take some medication.
Gotta love how the trash cans keep up with the themes. Here’s a rugged green can for a rugged green island.
COMING UP NEXT: MAGIC N’ ENDLESS WAVES OF MUGGLES
Part 1: Port of Entry
Part 2: Seuss Landing
Part 3: Toon Lagoon
Part 4: Matt Hoffman’s Aggro Circus
Part 5: The Lost Continent & Jurassic Park <— YOU ARE HERE!
Part 6: The Wizarding World of Harry Potter
Part 7: Marvel Super Hero Island
- G.K. Sil Kamina
