And so our theme park visit continues. What could possibly be next?
OH BOY, A CIRCUS! I haven’t been to one of those in ages! Let’s check it out!
First of all, I apologize for the picture quality (or should I say QUALITY) in this post. It seems “aggro” means “we never stay still so you can get a decent picture”. Well, no. I don’t completely remember what aggro actually means, but apparently it has something to do with going beyond the impossible with your MAD SKILLZ. (According to Wikipedia it’s also a slang term for aggresion!)
Second of all, this isn’t quite what I had in mind when they said circus! So much for the cliched big top, elephants and carnival food. What you get here is a showcase of skateboard, bicycle, rollerblade and motorcycle tricks. The stage itself isn’t very large so the performers make it up by doing stunts throughout the entire arena…including the aisles inbetween the audience’s seating areas!
That brings me to a story: At the start of the show the announcers make it very clear that the performers will be roaring down the aisles at high speed. They also make it very clear that you keep your behind in your seat and, under no circumstance, venture into the aisles during the show. Unfortunately about halfway through the show some girls decided to sneak in. They managed to slip by the guards completely undetected! Can you guess what happened next?
No?
Oh. Well…
One of the girls seemed to be aware that something was off so she stopped at the end of some stairs. The other one kept going…and then decided to stop right in the middle of an aisle RIGHT as a cyclist was speeding down it. Fortunately he managed to dodge her and continued on his way. The guards immediately showed up and escorted both girls out of the arena. Kudos to the cyclist for how he handled the situation: He kept a smile on his face the entire time and didn’t let the near-disaster phase him ONE BIT.
Here’s a guy handling his bicycle way better than you could ever handle yours. Funny enough he’s actually very close to where the girl was standing right before she nearly got run over. I’d say only about half the show is on the stage. A good portion takes place in the aisles while the rest takes place in…
…this thing, which I unfortunately forgot the name of. It’s a big ball. OF DAAAAAAAAAAAANGER! Basically a guy on a motorcycle will go in and start driving around and around and around and around and around. It’s a lot more impressive than it sounds. They start with one guy driving around. And then one guy driving around while the ringmaster stands in the center and panics.
So then you take this guy and double him, and then stick them both in the ball…with the ringmaster in the center. The end result is this:
But wait, we’re not done. That ringmaster? He spends most of the show talking big but it turns out he’s got the skills to back up his words. To prove this they take him out of the ball, stick him on a motorcycle and then put him back in. Then this happens:
Every now and then after a series of stunts the ringmaster turns the show over to the main man himself: MATT HOFFMAN. Unfortunately Mr. Hoffman isn’t physically there. Instead you get pre-recorded videos of him. Sounds like a drag? Rest assured that that’s not the case. Mr. Hoffman is very enthusiastic about his circus. Enthusiastic to the point where he comes off as overwhelmingly cheesy. It’s cute and fun.
ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER.
This show isn’t really for everyone. Whether or not you enjoy it depends on how impressive you find these kinds of stunts and how funny you find the ringmaster/Matt Hoffman’s cheesiness. It is a good way to pass the time, especially if you’re tired of being out in the sun waiting to get on the rides.
COMING UP NEXT: DINOSAURS! ANCIENT GODS! GOOD TIMES!
Part 1: Port of Entry
Part 2: Seuss Landing
Part 3: Toon Lagoon
Part 4: Matt Hoffman’s Aggro Circus <— YOU ARE HERE!
Part 5: The Lost Continent & Jurassic Park
Part 6: The Wizarding World of Harry Potter
Part 7: Marvel Super Hero Island
- G.K. Sil Kamina
