Springs and gardens are nice, but I know what it is you kids really want to see. This is Florida! Florida means only one thing: DISNEY WORLD!!!! Who’s the leader of the club that’s made for you and me? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-wait a minute, screw that. Do I look like I’m made of money?
…well, I’d have money if I’d stop spending it all on extremely expensive anime merchandise. That’s beside the point. Disney is expensive and we’re not going! But hey, don’t cry. There are plenty of other fun places to go to! How about we go see some MERMAIDS? No? How about a big pink tower? That’s magical! Not that either?
Fine. We’ll go to another theme park.
What about that one?
Welcome to Universal Orlando Resort, located in the heart of the bizarre Floridian city of Orlando and not too far from the Great Mouse’s Kingdom. This resort encompasses:
- City Walk, a shopping district with clubs, big name restaurants, shops of all sorts and a very large movie theater!
- Hard Rock Cafe! You know, that one music themed restaurant that sells those collectible lapel pins people love to buy.
- Blue Man Group! Why are they so bald?
- Universal Studios, which isn’t anywhere near as good as I thought it would be. 
- Bubba Gump’s Shrimp Company. Yes, THAT Bubba Gump’s. I even got a Teddy Gump.
STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES.
Here’s a shot of the Hard Rock Cafe which, for some odd reason, seems to have partially merged itself with the Coliseum. Hard Rock’s food isn’t anything to write home about. Just standard dine-in fare. I think most people go there for the experience, kinda like with Planet Hollywood.
Anyway, back to the Islands. Islands of Adventure was opened back in the late 1990′s. Universal had rides but seemed to emphasise its shows a bit more. These Islands are all about the rides. Well…and the shops. But especially the rides! Well…and the experience too…uh, and what an experience it is! Once you manage to make it through City Walk’s barrage of shops you get to go through the Port of Entry’s barrage of shops!
What’s the Port of Entry, you ask? It’s the very first of Islands’…um…islands. You see, the park is composed of several islands themed after different characters/properties. Each area has its own rides, shops, restaurants, costumed characters, etc. Which island is the best? That’s up to you to decide. No one seems to favor the Port of Entry, though. Such a shame. The Port definitely has some of the nicer themed trash cans in the park. Look.
Now that’s a trash can!
The nice thing about the shops in this area is that they sell merchandise from all the other islands. You’ll understand how great this is after you try to shop at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter’s stores. (Hint: GOOD FUCKING LUCK) This area also has some pretty nice architecture. You’ll almost feel like you’re in some weird fantastical port. Too bad it’s not a fantastical One Piece port.
Oh man, a Mugiwara Island would be so amazing.
Anyway, enough rambling. The Port of Entry is nice but it’s only the start of the adventure. I think we should take things easy and start in the most kid friendly of areas…
Part 1: Port of Entry <— YOU ARE HERE! YOUR ADVENTURE BEGINS!
Part 2: Seuss Landing
Part 3: Toon Lagoon
Part 4: Matt Hoffman’s Aggro Circus
Part 5: The Lost Continent & Jurassic Park
Part 6: The Wizarding World of Harry Potter
Part 7: Marvel Super Hero Island
- G.K. Sil Kamina
